memorial to a friend

I remember Becca before cancer, and it seems so long ago now-- she had blonde hair then. She'd never been the most popular, but neither was I. She was a beautiful girl, and she was my friend. She loved Harry Potter, swimming, cats and purple. She took karate, and sometimes showed me how to do the moves. I remember when she started having back pains in high school and the doctors thought that it was scoliosis. Then she didn't come to school for a week-- we missed her at our lunch table. Surely scoliosis wouldn't make her miss this much? When I finally talked to her again I found out. It wasn't scoliosis. When I heard "cancer," I had no idea of the journey ahead of her. People get better from cancer all the time, right? And for a while even she did. But it came back.

I remember a group of us getting together to visit her at one of her first chemo treatments. We made the mistake of bringing her brownies! Needless to say she didn't want to eat any of them. That was one of many times to come, being there at the hospital, for her and even for me. So many people loved her and came to visit her, from the very beginning to the very end. She always had cards, flowers, balloons-anything to cheer her up. And of course her favorite purple socks, purple pillow-- all purple.

Senior year she went into remission. A much thinner, dark-haired girl returned to school to graduate. And when our school's yearly fundraiser benefited research for her area of the hospital, she spoke on the center's behalf to the whole school. 2000 kids. She had a bow in her short, newly grown in dark hair. I was so proud to be her friend. One day during photography class I was roaming around in search of shots and saw her outside. The pictures from that day are some of my favorite of her. She was so vibrant and happy to be there, despite all the catch-up work she had to do to graduate with our class. She was so beautiful.

Through Make-A-Wish she got to go to Hawaii one Christmas. She swam with dolphins, enjoyed the beach and had a blast. She loved to swim and she was finally okayed by doctors to get in the ocean.

We both went off to college together, and ended up on the same hall. College has a way of making us so busy and pulling us in different directions, so that even being on the same hall didn't mean we saw each other often. But slowly I saw that she was getting sick again- and she started taking more treatments. Her sweet dark hair that she had finally needed a haircut for- gone again. The ballcap and wig came back. But oh! She had some cute wigs.

After freshman year she couldn't come back, and I saw her a few times at home and at the hospital. After I came home from studying abroad she was feeling pretty good and we went out to lunch together! I am so grateful for that day. But then she got worse. She was too sick for in-depth treatments, and what she did take were mostly for the sake of pain reduction. They didn't think she had long. I saw her once, at home in bed. We had a nice long talk, and she was so characteristically herself even there in bed.

Yesterday I got an email update that she was at the hospital, for probably the last time. I texted her two best friends and found out I could go see her. After arriving at the hospital and finding the room, the two girls, her whole family and I sat there and said goodbye. I feel so privileged to have been there to walk her home.
As we all sat there, praying over her and crying, her mom whispered to her,"Go on. We'll see you soon." And so, a few minutes later, she went. Free of pain, free of the world, into the Father's open arms.

Becca had mobilized the whole church in her support. Weekly the congregation prayed for her, wrote her encouragement cards, brought food and flowers to her and her family. Even Oklahoma area "celebs" came to see her-- Sherry Cole, Thunder basketball players, and her Oklahoma Cowboys football players. She was strong and humble. Rebecca was one of the most beautiful women I have known.




Though you are mourning, and grieving your loss,
Death died a long time ago
Swallowed in life, so her life carries on
Still, it's so hard to let go

This was her time
This was her dance
She lived every moment
Left nothing to chance
She swam in the sea
Drank of the deep
Embraced the mystery
Of all she could be
What if tomorrow
What if today
Faced with the question
Oh, what would you say


-Michael W. Smith

Bye for now, Becca. I love you. I know you are at peace in the arms of our Lord now, and I'll see you soon.
Love, Hannah